One of my friends I grew up with was reported missing a few days ago. They found his body on the side of a street Christmas Eve. He was 40 years old. Gone too soon.
My friend was a good poet. We first met at a treatment center when we were teenagers. He was smart and creative, but also a troubled soul.
I received this message from him in April of last year:
“Hey just wanted to say thank you for never giving up on me brother. I truly appreciate it. Been sober since Dec and doing really good. Working, have an amazing woman, life is good. Thank you for seeing in me what I couldn’t. Love you for everything.”
His death is only the most recent of many people I’ve lost in my life. Just about all of my friends and family members that passed before me struggled with alcohol and drug addiction. My mother, my best childhood friend, the first woman I loved and many other close friends passed from this life way too early. All of them were gifted in one way or another.
It’s terribly unfortunate. I sometimes can’t make much sense of it. I experience survivor’s guilt. Waves of grief and sadness flow through me.
But there’s also gratitude and hope. Yes, it’s true drug and alcohol addiction affects countless other people than just the person addicted. The alcoholic or addict creates a space of selfishness, drama, trauma and ugly situations in his wake.
Luckily, I also get to witness the ripple effects of a person in recovery. An alcoholic or addict’s life can change. Once they change, it creates positive effects on her family, friends, loved ones and community. Kid’s lives are forever transformed for the better. Love is communicated. Hope is given. Forgiveness granted.
For any of those struggling, there’s always hope. A better way to live exists.
“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.”
– Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist